Sunday, April 20, 2008

On Relationships

Someone i cared about said to me that love is not a mere feeling but a descision.....its something we choose for ourselves.....its something we fight for...I know i am not an expert on this I even consider myself a looser in this field.... but i have seen many sad stories of broken relationship from other question is.. what can we do to sustain any kind of relationships be it as a friend or a lover, you know that these things are what makes us human.(maybe im not human) i don't believe there's "handling" a relationship as much as "building" one, do you? and then i came across these... really good reminders if we want our relationships to stay and for keeps.i hope it will help yours....

  1. Don't think in terms of forever. Think ofnow, and forever will take care of itself. Recognize that all relationships cannot be forever.. Recognize their temporary quality, but continue to act as if they are permanent.
  2. Expect to invest a great deal of time and energy in your relationships. Lasting relationships don't just happen, they are created.
  3. Respect the other person's relationships apart from you. If they are important to the one you care about, they should be important to you.
  4. Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations.
  5. Don't be afraid of giving. You can never give too much, if you're giving willingly.
  6. Never force anyone to do anything for you "in the name of love." Love is not to be bargained for.
  7. Don't allow experience to harden your heart; rather use it to become more aware and sensitive.
  8. Don't lose touch with the craziness in you.This, with a large dose of caring, will assure that your relationship will never be boring.
  9. Don't brood. Get on with living and loving.You don't have forever.
  10. Always start a relationship by asking: Do I have ulterior motives forwanting to relate to this person? Is my caring conditional? Am I trying to escape something? Am I planning to change the person? Do I need this person to help me make up for a deficiency in myself? If your answer to any ofthese questions is "Yes", leave the person alone. He or she is better off without you.
  11. Keep the child in you alive and playing.
  12. Divorce, fighting, arguing will never solve your problems; better to try understanding, warmth and flexibility.
  13. Stop going through life in self-pity, self-blame and "mea culpa"syndrome. We are not as bad as we think.
  14. Write down all the reasons why you love each person you relate with.Then, when the going gets tough, take the list out and reread it. It resolves problems quickly.
  15. Don't be afraid of disagreements andarguments, the only people who don't argue are people who don't care or ared ead. In fact, don't have short arguments. Make certain they are thoroughly over and done with. After an argument is over, forget it.
  16. Watch out for little irritations, they grow into destructive monsters.Verbalize them at once.
  17. Let go of pride. It is usually false,creates barriers and prevents closeness.
  18. Acknowledge the humanness of the other.
  19. Exercise feelings. Feelings have meaningonly as they are expressed in action.
  20. Be compassionate. It is the sure way to understanding and acceptance.
  21. See all criticism as positive for it leads to self-evaluation. You are always free to reject itif it is unfair or does not apply.
  22. Expect what is reasonable, NOT what is perfect.
  23. Stop playing games. A growing relationship can only be nurtured by GENUINENESS.
  24. Even though you are only half of a relationship, you must remain a whole person, apart from the relationship.
  25. Remember that moral and spiritual values don't restrict, they PROTECT.
  26. What you learn about yourself will infinitely help in trying to understand others.
  27. See problems as small MIRACLES which can bring about KNOWLEDGE AND CHANGE.
  28. Don't allow your relationships to die of NEGLECT

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